The Hermit's Journal 1995 Excerpts

January 5, 1995 Thursday 7:56 PM

There is no solace, only subterfuge.

January 8, 1995 Sunday 11:21 AM

If I were to give a talk now what subjects would I want to address? Autonomy, transitions.

The game is always the same grouping and sequence, grouping and sequence. Some play the game better than others. Getting paid is better than not.

January 8, 1995 Sunday 10:43 PM

"Do you mind that I suck on your fingers?"

"Well, yea, a little."

January 8, 1995 Sunday 10:44 PM

So where you end up is where you choose to be. mjm

January 8, 1995 Sunday 10:58 PM

It's not the time, but the talent. mjm

January 10, 1995 Tuesday 10:29 PM

Hermit publishes instructions and templates for developing autonomy in carbon and silicon based systems.

January 11, 1995 Wednesday 8:39 AM

MICHAEL MILLER provides specialty information services.

January 11, 1995 Wednesday 9:57 AM

Electrons is sorta like heaven, all united in form but unique in expression.

January 11, 1995 Wednesday 1:49 PM

Money? How to get money to echo or precede?

January 13, 1995 Friday 9:02 AM

All I worry about is capturing the stuff.

January 13, 1995 Friday 11:12 PM

I believe it took us both off center to see one another again. Different lives, different hearts. New meanings.

January 13, 1995 Friday 11:33 PM

Breathe in with your will
breathe out with your will.

January 16, 1995 Monday 9:08 AM

The end is always at hand; be prepared. (No, not spiritually, but practically, with wills, and insurance and stuff like that. This bus has limited seats, when you lose yours you want to make sure that others can keep theirs (actually, all you can do is extend the envelope of protection to last a while longer.))

January 16, 1995 Monday 9:22 AM


January 16, 1995 Monday 8:36 PM

The more swamped you get with keeping track of all these files, the more appealing a method becomes of dealing more with one file and sorting everything out from there.

January 17, 1995 Tuesday 8:43 AM

Life makes gamblers of us all.

January 18, 1995 Wednesday 9:15 PM

The method gets you to pay attention. Attention to the pattern. Your pattern is either deteriorating or improving. Your control over your pattern is your acceleration from the velocity established by the pattern.

January 18, 1995 Wednesday 9:23 PM

The Frogman story is as true now as it was when I was a kid.

January 18, 1995 Wednesday 9:27 PM

(((((Which one of us will really have to live without the other?)))))

January 21, 1995 Saturday 8:22 PM

So go out and hook up to the Internet with a domain name. Become a place, more than being just a person. Think of it as advertising.

January 23, 1995 Monday 8:10 AM

To come here, here in front of the screen to make an entry in the log, in only a narrow part of the spectrum. (For me though, an apparently necessary one.) ((and how could it not be for you?)) How could you cope and not have to resort to writing?

January 23, 1995 Monday 8:12 AM

I love my log. Not because of the content, but because of how it evolved to allow me to express my self the way it wanted to be expressed. (((notice the "it"))) ((((me too, all along))))

January 23, 1995 Monday 8:14 AM

We often expect from ourselves too much sequence. Too much of staying on one subject, "sticking with it."

January 23, 1995 Monday 8:16 AM

...the presence of evil in the world, the presence of evil in yourself--makes you wary. Makes you serious.

That is the question: what are you serious about? I'm very serious about, (pause) ((now lost in thought. What am I serious about? My writing. This interaction. (The Hermit's Information Service--THIS, this. God I love that acronym))

January 23, 1995 Monday 8:20 AM

(To what extent does body ignore mind?) Or more to the point, spirit?

January 23, 1995 Monday 8:21 AM

My first sense of the wave coming was a gut feeling I was somehow lower in the water.

January 23, 1995 Monday 8:25 AM

Genius is never welcome.

January 23, 1995 Monday 8:33 AM

Consciousness breathes. So does concentration. You go in, you reach for it, and then you must withdraw. How is that different than the apparent constant rate of time?

January 23, 1995 Monday 8:41 AM

A bientot! Lost to the world again....

January 24, 1995 Tuesday 9:58 AM

The hardest thing about loosing your intimacy with a group of friends is how it forces you to be born again, to "re-invent" yourself, to believe in your self all over again because you find your self once again standing alone.

January 26, 1995 Thursday 9:58 AM

Now it is off to the shower and the signing of my will. Such a thing to sign.

January 29, 1995 Sunday 2:41 PM

rickets \'rik-ets\ n pl but sing in constr [origin unknown] : a childhood disease that is characterized especially by soft and deformed bones and that is caused by failure to assimilate and use calcium and phosphorus normally due to inadequate sunlight or vitamin D

rick \'rik\ n [ME reek, from OE hreac; akin to ON hraukr rick] 1:a stack (as of hay) in the open air 2: a pile of material (as cordwood) split from short logs

rick vt : to pile (as hay) in ricks

rick vt [perh. fr. ME wrikken to move unsteadily] chiefly Brit :wrench, sprain

rickety \rik-et-e\ adj 1:affected with rickets 2a: feeble in the joints

January 30, 1995 Monday 8:58 AM

Eyes are special to me because they listen most acutely.

January 30, 1995 Monday 8:59 AM

Eyes listen. They hear the best. When you are within visual range your eyes hear the loudest. What is the difference? Both are vibration, (only range). Both we listen to. "Do you believe your eyes? Your ears? What is "it" that discerns? It all comes back to the theme of "be still and listen, and know that thou art god."

January 31, 1995 Tuesday 8:00 PM

(I guess the closer you get to doing what you want the less time you have to write. (about it)((because you get to do it instead of write about it.)) Still, it is the writing that brings the joy. Why? It may have something to do with being a high plains drifter in the mind. Someone who has to listen very closely. Someone who rarely gets a reflection other than from within.

January 31, 1995 Tuesday 8:19 PM

Reflections from within are easier to ignore; we would rather distract our selves from the flow of will moving through us (and our personal response to that flow).

January 31, 1995 Tuesday 8:21 PM

You know, I've worn the journal the way I do it for years now. I forget how strictly personal my method of grouping and sequencing is.

February 2, 1995 Thursday 10:07 AM

"flannel to flannel transport"

February 4, 1995 Saturday 6:17 PM

Yon don't come here all the time, because you are bored. You come because you must. The feelings run so deep there has to be a way to reach the surface.

February 4, 1995 Saturday 6:19 PM

The world and the keys
the world comes
the world goes
stairs to nowhere
what I see is what I might
what we want and what we expect
where we wonder
only the thunder

February 4, 1995 Saturday 6:32 PM

"I was pregnant before I met you."

February 4, 1995 Saturday 6:34 PM

Why don't people have flight recorders? That way when they crash we might learn from their experience, or enjoy the poetry of the perish.

February 9, 1995 Thursday 10:40 PM

You're not pressing the envelope because you really don't want the response.

February 10, 1995 Friday 12:33 AM

The brightness of the screen makes my eyes wince. I wish I knew how to turn it down.

It was the second good thing I thought of that brought me down here, but now that I'm here I'm so cold and so far from what brought me here that I've forgotten why I came...and yet, and yet here I am and the keys beneath my fingers shout out to paper and ink. ((Like Spock sending out the last of the ship's fuel as a distress signal.)) That is what it is all about, really--how you choose to burn your flare. How well you burn your wick.

February 10, 1995 Friday 12:38 AM

Then it all goes lost into thought and you wonder why you aren't in bed, surrendering to the inevitable. (((Will does provide its own thrust, doesn't it?)))

February 10, 1995 Friday 8:48 PM

You're in a style tag on a keystroke-in the pike, five by five.

February 10, 1995 Friday 9:18 PM

Why is there this pressing need to shout out your anguish?

February 10, 1995 Friday 9:21 PM

Interesting question, no -- to what extent can you empower someone without empowering them to support themselves? Which takes me back to a basic premise of my philosophy of processing information -- only do what you can. (don't hire any help)

February 10, 1995 Friday 9:24 PM

(((Datestamp and save, datestamp and save,...)))

February 10, 1995 Friday 9:47 PM

I believe it is a sacred privilege to allow someone to observe you from the outside while you try to deal with the inside.

February 10, 1995 Friday 9:49 PM

"to the memories you will never know about..." ode to 38

February 12, 1995 Sunday 4:09 PM

Life sorta catches you in between making what you imagine true and wondering how you are being taken.

February 16, 1995 Thursday 12:41 PM

"You can't slow down
until you are going too fast." AS

February 16, 1995 Thursday 12:50 PM

I didn't notice that there was a tomorrow, until today.

March 9, 1995 Thursday 1:04 AM

The joy of a datestamp.

March 15, 1995 Wednesday 11:29 PM

The world just comes out of nowhere. mjm

March 24, 1995 Friday 8:14 PM

What people fail to appreciate is that what I have accomplished in my life has been a very definite choice. My log is already out there and I will to be gone.

March 27, 1995 Monday 7:57 AM

What does being a hermit mean? Part of it means to be able to live within your self, with just your self. In all of us there seems to be the drive to extend beyond our selves. Doing it with others, especially another who is special and on-going, seems to be what we are all driven towards? Is that love? Is that will? The same? Different?

There are always times when company helps, but it is never a good time to lose a sense of self. ((Maybe that is where all the sadness comes from.)) Maybe the sadness so close to the surface is really only a deeper sense of self (surfacing.)

March 27, 1995 Monday 8:09 AM

One of the greatest advantages of keeping a log is that it lets you move on. When a thought or an effort to communicate or understand gets too heavy you can just put it down by date stamping into a new subject. It is not that our brains are too slow, it is that our devices for helping our brains are just starting to get personal and powerful.

March 27, 1995 Monday 8:12 AM

A strategic thrust is in how you use your technology when it comes to data management. (((And it seems that once you get a sense of your limitations you see that autonomy is once more the answer. The reason is that because you can only store so much you have to choose what you carry along with you. The idea is to carry a cup to the well to prime the pump, pump as much as you want but only carry a cup with you as you travel. The cup is electrons, the well is paper and ink. The cup is awareness, the well is godliness. Project is still the answer. Use what you have to project information. ((((Project a copy to yourself and let your paper and ink be the history of what you've done.)))) This way you can limit your cost and focus on what you are trying to do by knowing what is important to back up.

March 27, 1995 Monday 10:27 AM

A woman's pleasure does not make a man's.

March 27, 1995 Monday 11:02 AM

Pilates is the pursuit of an attitude. How you move through space.

March 29, 1995 Wednesday 3:42 PM

It feels so good to leave the past behind.

March 29, 1995 Wednesday 3:43 PM

That's why a time and date stamp is so freeing. Address what you want, while you want and sort it all out later. Doesn't that sound like familiar advice?

March 30, 1995 Thursday 8:25 AM

The world wide web is significant because it means "no more boundaries" between operating systems. Information has reached a new level of generic accessibility.

March 31, 1995 Friday 9:39 PM

Ohhh, the thought of being out there--for anyone. Scary.

April 3, 1995 Monday 9:05 AM

"Our records are temporarily unavailable to us." Citibank.

April 3, 1995 Monday 11:33 AM


Center, how from all beings
you pull yourself, even from those that fly
winning yourself back, irresistible center.
He who stands: as a drink through thirst
gravity plunges down through him.
But from the sleeper falls
(as though from a motionless cloud)
the abundant rain of the heavy.


April 14, 1995 Friday 7:58 PM

When we look at all that we might want the world to be how disappointed we can become, however, if we look at all that is that might not be how fortunate we can feel.

April 15, 1995 Saturday 9:14 AM

losing ground on the scope of his intensity mjm

April 15, 1995 Saturday 9:16 AM

Money owns its owners. mjm

April 15, 1995 Saturday 9:16 AM

If you don't arm people with ideas, you give them nothing.

April 15, 1995 Saturday 9:17 AM

Oliver Goldsmith: "Nothing exceeds the vanity of our existence except the folly of our pursuits." Wild Wild West The Night of the Diva.

April 26, 1995 Wednesday 9:46 AM

Pilates gives you a chance to embrace your self. To listen to what comes from within. To embrace what comes from within and direct it outwards.

The people who are physically injured the most are the ones who need the mental part the most.

The basic premise of Pilates is that you have to concentrate to control. This is a new concept to many people who's bodies have let them down. (through injury or growing old)

You have to challenge the carbon in front of you. From one hour to the next, from the gifted to the impaired, you must draw out the focus from within. ((you and them))

Doing Pilates in pain is different than doing Pilates to stay out of pain.

April 28, 1995 Friday 10:48 PM

It is hard having to look in the mirror of self-reflection.

May 4, 1995 Thursday 8:45 AM

Pilates is about making use of angular momentum to move. Angular momentum stabilizes any body in motion around an axis. We use muscle groups to achieve movement. To the extent that we live within the laws of gravity (and therefore angular momentum) we can move better by being more aware of images that allow us better use of our beings.

May 6, 1995 Saturday 1:01 PM

"In your total regard for women you have none."

May 6, 1995 Saturday 1:03 PM

(She walks with defiant intent.)

May 7, 1995 Sunday 5:30 PM

"A man's gotta look till he finds his place." Wild, Wild, West. Sammy Davis, Jr.

May 13, 1995 Saturday 9:25 PM

You want exposure from what you've already done so people will pay for it yet to come.

May 14, 1995 Sunday 1:47 PM

Accomplishments are better than mementos; mementos can be lost, but accomplishments last forever.

May 14, 1995 Sunday 1:48 PM

My sense of purpose will not give you what you are looking for. I am lost within my self, within the relationship to my self.

May 18, 1995 Thursday 9:05 AM

When the world gets to be too much to handle you must surrender to the relationship within.

May 18, 1995 Thursday 8:48 PM

We are all embarrassed by our physicality.

May 25, 1995 Thursday 10:16 AM

Pilates is about acknowledging the principles of physics within the body. If the principal applies, it applies at all levels -- of speed, of reality, of imagination. Angular momentum, whatever it is, still is. Trying to come from there, even if you're not sure where there is, gives return. When you give the body a chance to find it, if it does then you will come to better understand it without knowing why.

Pilates focuses your concentration.

May 29, 1995 Monday 8:20 PM

The method belongs to everyone. It is like "We the People..." The idea, in and of itself, belongs to everyone.

The approach is so clean, so pure. (thanks Allison)

Take your concentration and focus it on idealized patterns of movement.

May 30, 1995 Tuesday 9:01 AM

I'm wasting all this time when I want to be writing. Why? Because writing is my joy and this whole journey started out being headed for happiness. And for you to be happy you have to embrace your joy. To fulfill you duty you must share your joy.

May 30, 1995 Tuesday 9:08 AM

I've been on the surface too long. Too easily distracted.

May 31, 1995 Wednesday 9:33 AM

So happy birthday to me. Am I happy it is my birthday? Am I happy to be here?

June 5, 1995 Monday 8:31 AM

Sometimes we forget our depth and get lost in only superficial dimension. (usually by interacting with others)

Submarines, by design, run at depth, within limits, and grow uncomfortable when too long on the surface. (((((know when to dive)))))

June 14, 1995 Wednesday 7:02 PM

See everything and nothing (from an old movie) like in karate, when you are focused on nothing so that you can see everything.

June 14, 1995 Wednesday 7:06 PM

When you spend your money you pledge your faith.

June 14, 1995 Wednesday 7:09 PM

In the stepping up is the clearest example I can think of for the most practical piece of advice I would offer. My advice is to work within the correct range of motion. A lot has been said about safe range of motion, all good, but to view range of motion as only whether or not the range is safe is to misplace the intent of the message. You can be safe and still not operate within the optimal range of control.

In the stepping up, very often for smaller people, the step up can be too much range, or for taller people not enough. You must modify the range to bring it under control. Not only is that your job, it is your responsibility as a Pilates instructor to empower your clients with the understanding of the idea so they can autonomously modify equipment to optimally challenge their range of control.

June 16, 1995 Friday 12:53 AM

So once you understand that all a person wants to do is to make love with you, where do you go from there?

June 16, 1995 Friday 10:41 AM

Others are reflections of our selves. Most often we come to know our selves through others. Even though I have come to prefer coming to know my self by my self, I am always curious who I speak to internally as a reflection of my self.

June 19, 1995 Monday 10:10 AM

(((((Where comes the internal eye?))))) "from within"

June 20, 1995 Tuesday 10:17 AM

I keep a log. These are excerpts from that log.

June 21, 1995 Wednesday 1:49 PM

Because death cometh, but not yet. mjm

June 21, 1995 Wednesday 1:50 PM

struggling to make meaning of the madness

June 26, 1995 Monday 8:57 PM

If you can't maintain integrity in the moment you will never get somewhere in order to do it.

June 29, 1995 Thursday 8:57 PM

We still live in the history we are creating.

July 1, 1995 Saturday 10:43 AM

"If you can shoot like you can kiss I'm in real trouble." James West

July 13, 1995 Thursday 9:49 AM

The joy of life is in thinking that you have discovered new land.

July 18, 1995 Tuesday 9:07 AM

This is how I see the body--connected coils of energy.

July 18, 1995 Tuesday 9:15 AM

So much of life is the "attitude" we take. And attitude is something we choose. As hard as it is to choose an attitude that forces us to higher ground, it is the only way.

July 26, 1995 Wednesday 11:39 PM

To capture the moment, is not so important as to participate in the moment.

July 27, 1995 Thursday 9:06 AM

"...that goes beyond your expectation and plays into your fantasy." mjm

August 1, 1995 Tuesday 10:27 PM

People want the carbon. If they respect what you have to say they are going to want the carbon.

August 25, 1995 Friday 8:59 PM

What is Pilates? (Puh-lah'-teez)

Pilates is a method of physical and mental conditioning. It develops the body in a uniform way, corrects poor postures, and improves muscle strength, tone and flexibility. Pilates develops the quality of movement that is essential to good training.

The method uses specialized equipment to perform specific and precise movement to stabilize the pelvis, develop deep control of the abdominals, glutials, and inner thighs, and make the spine supple, flexible, and less affected by aging and gravity.

August 28, 1995 Monday 9:42 PM

The Internet is only good if you want to find or provide information.
(((((If you don't care, it doesn't matter.)))))

September 1, 1995 Friday 9:24 PM

Women never keep photos around of past loves. They are always reaching for the dream and releasing what no longer matters.

September 2, 1995 Saturday 8:39 AM

I have come to learn the same lesson over and over, sell your self and nothing else. But that is the hardest thing to do--sell your self. Why is that so hard?

September 4, 1995 Monday 1:02 PM

The woman's way has to be veiled in confusion and secrecy. Driven by desire...

September 5, 1995 Tuesday 8:16 AM

"I try not to speculate or comment on these matters." Some attorney on TV.

September 5, 1995 Tuesday 8:22 AM

I don't object to the way things are; I'm not just sure I can deal with them.

September 5, 1995 Tuesday 8:23 AM

Life is so much the ideals we seek to apply to it.

September 5, 1995 Tuesday 11:34 AM

Never press a woman for an answer.

September 5, 1995 Tuesday 11:35 AM

Never press a woman for an answer. ((Understand the answer given you.))

September 6, 1995 Wednesday 8:10 PM

Breathing is everything. It is the very flow that we are in. To move well you must breathe well.

September 9, 1995 Saturday 8:43 AM

The method fuses body and mind into being.

September 9, 1995 Saturday 8:49 AM

When you reach for ideal movement you reach for control. Control is the issue. That is why Joe called the method contrology. To control you have to concentrate, to concentrate you have to have something to concentrate on. To concentrate don't you have to use your imagination? Humm. I'll have to think about that. But, to go on. If imagination precedes movement, and the quality of the imagination affects the quality of the movement, then to the extent that you imagine well you move well.

What is the image? ((((()))))

September 9, 1995 Saturday 9:11 AM

The image is physics. We are talking about movement of a body through space aren't we? Don't the same rules that apply to the space shuttle apply to our bodies? If so, angular momentum is essential to the image we seek to develop.

Angular momentum stabilizes a body in rotation. Ice skaters, gymnasts, gyroscopes, footballs, and bullets are examples of the rotation of the body stabilizing the body's movement through space.

September 9, 1995 Saturday 9:42 AM

The paradigm shift about to occur on the net is having easy global access, meaning it will be easy for others to find you--not only those you give your address to, but others who are looking for what you have to say.

September 9, 1995 Saturday 10:58 AM

"A long reach over a lot of feelings."

September 10, 1995 Sunday 10:26 PM

The method is what matters. The method that you use. What is your method? Do you mold it or leave it the same? If you mold it, what rules of thumb do you use?

September 11, 1995 Monday 9:37 AM

The body moves through space by utilizing counter balancing spirals of energy.

A spiral moves around the axis through the hips one way and around the axis through the shoulders oppositely.

September 18, 1995 Monday 8:56 AM

Pilates is about load. Only working with loads that you can support, i.e. control.

September 23, 1995 Saturday 1:12 PM

I have to admit I come from the mental side of the method and know very little about the physical side.

We all pursue self expression through our physicality. Our ability to do that differs by the quality of our effort.

September 23, 1995 Saturday 9:58 PM

Writing goes in much slower than it can be read.

September 25, 1995 Monday 9:05 AM

The nice thing about keeping a journal is that you can easily move on to whatever is next and leave the old behind.

September 25, 1995 Monday 9:02 PM

I would say never underestimate your impact on the world. The time is now for you to step forward and be all that you can imagine. (We have lived long, and there could be much more to endure.) May you reach but not lose your balance.

September 27, 1995 Wednesday 10:13 PM

(((Who to call? No one home, and even if there were it wouldn't matter.)))

September 27, 1995 Wednesday 10:19 PM

There is no answer to intimacy other that evolution.

October 3, 1995 Tuesday 8:32 PM

What you ask of me is for company because of my experience living in isolation. I understand, but it would only be a distraction. You have to stand in the center and emit energy.

October 6, 1995 Friday 11:23 PM

My journal and me, where have we come recently? Into the light, close to the shadow, never more bright, never more hallowed. Where do we come, those of us from the Campion era, so close to the fight, so far from the arrow? Now we come, now we fall, here we are, one and all.

Where shall we go when all others fail? Where shall we go to no avail? Inside outside, here it matters, but when you call the dream shatters.

There once was a time when everything mattered, now there is nothing but life in tatters.

We look out, we look in, who is the we that looks? The challenge of adolescence before the concrete settles. No matter no mind no will no find. Cast away, cast away, cast away all, here in the depths, no matter, no fall.

I look this way and that, no wonder at all, no mystery, no question, no answer at all.

October 11, 1995 Wednesday 7:57 PM

Electrons is a hot medium, and once you say something hot, it's gone, it's out there, kiss it good-bye.

October 13, 1995 Friday 12:03 PM

The whirl wind of feelings is only that, a whirlwind, and takes place within.

October 13, 1995 Friday 12:05 PM

The writing in the log allows you to make a connection. Make a reflection on the course of your life. To be so possessed of feelings that in the long run will probably be but a faint blip on an already fading line. I have gone out there into the void, out on the fringe, and have come back to tell you that this is the best place to be.

October 14, 1995 Saturday 4:25 PM

We stay as nets
stretched across the sea,
the currents of time
shredding you and me.
That it happens
that we know
doesn't matter
here we go --

October 14, 1995 Saturday 9:27 PM

I love the nights when I rush back to make an entry here, in my journal. To feel so passionate about making the connection, to feel so much thrust in what you feel you have to say, this is why I do it. If there is a why, why's are only explanation, what I do is what I do.

October 17, 1995 Tuesday 10:46 PM

Here I am, inside here, with you. That's the creepy part, that we are all in here together. The commonality of spirit. Dealing with how our bodies separate us from our selves. The self, the god-within us is the god-within all of us.

October 19, 1995 Thursday 11:48 PM

How strange it is that here I am on the cutting edge of being able to communicate with a large number of people personally and individually. What to say? What to put "out there"? The idea is really quite appealing (and dangerous) no telling who will respond.

November 3, 1995 Friday 5:08 PM

((Just do the log. Stay true. Rely on your plan. Believe.))

November 6, 1995 Monday 10:27 AM

It works for me, here, I guess. Always has. To listen, and try to write down what you hear, what you think of what you hear, what you feel of what you hear.

November 8, 1995 Wednesday 9:38 AM

You see, it's not you. I need enough time and space to bump into my isolation. Give me time to listen to my self. To the god-within.

November 8, 1995 Wednesday 9:41 AM

I look at my journal as I hand it out, as I put it out on the Net for all and any to see. It seems as though I am about to really lay bare my self, and that causes feelings of suppressed joy and nervous exposure.

So I need the isolation to maintain my focus. And I need the diversity of experience to keep my bearings.

November 9, 1995 Thursday 10:44 AM

To lose false pretense. mjm

A joke is a flirtation with the truth.

Things happen but nothing changes.

November 9, 1995 Thursday 12:24 PM

While a person is alive they are no different than any other. We all come; we all go. We all leave a history that's falls short of the reality. I've had to stand outside my self to come to terms with my self. And for that it seems I have had to consider my self after my death. Whatever it is that I am, whatever it is that drives me and binds me, I only know that I am limited in my range of response. The world, life, living, is too much for me.

November 9, 1995 Thursday 12:31 PM

Don't interrupt the flow of your breathing.

November 9, 1995 Thursday 12:32 PM

When you work out you want to be driven by as pure an image and you can. How you invest your self matters so much more than only that you invest your self.

November 16, 1995 Thursday 10:58 AM

"From your mouth to their movement"

November 17, 1995 Friday 2:14 AM

My email address is MICHAELMILLER@HERMIT.COM and my home page is located at

November 17, 1995 Friday 2:16 AM

Why do you do Pilates? Isn't the why you do it more important than what you do? And if that's so, what is one target we aim for with the Pilates Method? My target is fusion. (((What else is there?)))

November 17, 1995 Friday 2:29 AM

I used to think it was a rush sharing my journal with anyone; now I'm sharing it with everyone and part of me feels naked and part feels quite liberated. (I suppose they go together.)

November 19, 1995 Sunday 6:33 PM

You only get in deeper when you don't admit when you're wrong. You lean in directions that aren't warranted in order to support your position.

November 23, 1995 Thursday 9:10 AM

The isolation that life drives you to, we seek to escape it, in another, in any other, rather than accept it and live with it.

November 25, 1995 Saturday 12:40 AM

When you witness control you acknowledge it.

November 25, 1995 Saturday 12:40 AM

When you are communing with nature it is tough to step into words. Why bother? Why encapsulate? Why intellectualize the experience? Why not just paint instead?

Good question, one that I have often asked my self.

December 11, 1995 Monday 8:42 AM

Keep your front connected for a smooth round in back. When you find the joy in the movement a smile is an all-the-time thing.

December 11, 1995 Monday 8:52 AM

There seems to be some confusion about why you do Pilates. Pilates is a pure expression of joy. It is a celebration of physics. An honoring of our physicality.

December 11, 1995 Monday 10:16 AM

"We are in the pike, five by five." from Aliens II, the pilot to her fellow marine crew as the landing craft descends to the planet through rough turbulence. (One of my favorite sayings.)

December 20, 1995 Wednesday 10:44 PM

"I'm waiting for the computer to catch up" by a pizza delivery guy.

December 21, 1995 Thursday 9:03 AM

"I'm not sure if you've enriched my life or really warped it."

December 21, 1995 Thursday 9:04 AM

Self indulgence in self awareness.

December 21, 1995 Thursday 9:09 AM

"Smarten up. Look sharp." Anthony Hopkins in some movie.

December 21, 1995 Thursday 9:42 PM

Exercise happens for a reason. We are physical beings, if we don't use them we lose them. The presence of the carbon is a luxurious means of expression.

Will doesn't know it's way;
it only knows it wants it's way.

Will is what works.

Will is gravity. Hummm, if god is gravity and gravity is will then you could say that god's will is gravity. Now we're getting somewhere. To say it is god's will is to say it could be anything, but to say that god's will is gravity is to limit god's will to the character of gravity.

December 22, 1995 Friday 4:30 PM

Living is processing. Processing is grouping and sequencing. Choice defines character.

We have to learn to live with the choices we make. And even more cruel, we have to learn to live with our own thoughtless actions. We have to learn to live with what we've done when we haven't been in control.

December 22, 1995 Friday 4:39 PM


December 22, 1995 Friday 4:43 PM

Deaf and hearing impaired textual delivery of material.

December 22, 1995 Friday 4:56 PM

(((((fueling your engines?)))))

December 22, 1995 Friday 4:57 PM

Control. Movement.

December 26, 1995 Tuesday 5:35 PM

God drives the artist. The thrust of will does its thing through the artist. Chemistry. Electrons. Bondings. Gravity.

December 27, 1995 Wednesday 10:19 AM

substance but unobstructive mjm

We all look out only to see
if someone sees us looking.

December 28, 1995 Thursday 12:23 AM

Be safe


Be mellow

December 29, 1995 Friday 2:41 PM

You don't need to go that far to get a reflection. You don't need eyes, or beauty. All you need is enough space to be still and listen to the god-within.

There are no answers, only acceptance of the way things are and your response.

The smile that you send out is your choice. The more dire the circumstance the more appreciated the choice.

December 31, 1995 Sunday 10:17 AM

I think it is primitive to express your self visually.

December 31, 1995 Sunday 10:18 AM

Primitive because, words are the real clouds in the sky. Second only perhaps to painting. Still, for someone who has never shown the ability to paint, words will have to do.

December 31, 1995 Sunday 10:21 AM

Movement comes from will. Will is gravity. Gravity causes rotation. (((We are thrust much more than we press.)))

December 31, 1995 Sunday 10:23 AM

Save and datestamp whenever your concentration breaks, then move on. Be open. Let go of chewing on the nagging issue. It will come back soon enough, and this time you will be more prepared.

Deal with what comes up. Handle the moment.

December 31, 1995 Sunday 10:25 AM

The bottom line? Rotation stabilizes movement.